I've been experiencing a lot a pain, nausea, & bloating whenever I eat for a long time now, no matter what I eat. In my quest for comfort, I've tried eating alkaline foods, vegan foods, raw foods, yogic foods, non-processed foods, non-Monsanto foods, carb free, dairy free, alcohol free, caffeine free, gluten free, sugar free, smaller meals, earlier meals, tea-filled meals, low calorie diets, high calorie diets, candida health diets, and nothing seems to help. I've spent too many days hovered over my porcelain throne, spewing out bile the color of Mr. Clean, and too many nights suffering with nausea or cramps from drinking a glass of water or eating a salad, so I think it's time to flush my body out, and see what interesting gallstone gems my body is hiding.
One of the things that inspired me was this snarky Vice article some hipster girls wrote about passing their gallstones called "I'm Empty Inside". I'm not exactly of the economic status where I can afford to be massaged with hot stones while a vacuum sucks up my grody internal festerings, so I plan to approach this cleanse through strictly diet, but I found the article to be humorous & semi-enlightening. She references Andreas Moritz often, who wrote the book The Amazing Liver & Gallbladder Flush, and while I'm sure this book is a worthy investment, I'm just going to take her word for it (again, economic status). Another thing that inspired me was the short, yet informative, Natural Ayurvedic Home Remedies video on gallstones. In the video, the woman talks about what causes gallstone problems, simple juice concoctions you can make to pass them, and what foods you can/can't eat while you're passing.
Between these two sources and a casual amount of internet research, I've been able to glean enough information about passing my own colorful pebbles, that I feel confident & psyched up. Yesterday, my boo & I drank apple cleansers (45% apple juice, 45% water, 10% apple cider vinegar), plus we've been drinking dandelion root tea for a week (supposed to aid in gallbladder health), and yes, I bought a $2 enema and produce/juice for a week, so everything is ready. I get discouraged really easily and raw food diets make me moody/dizzy, so I tried making this as fun as possible by eating green the first day, orange/yellow the second day, blue/purple the third day, red the fourth day, and Japanese raw cuisine the fifth day. On the sixth day, I'm going to dramatically increase my fluid intake, prep my body (hint hint, wink wink T_T</3), start crazy juice cleansing, and down a bunch of essential vitamins and herbs. And if all goes as expected, the seventh day will be the great cleanse!! While, I'm making this more fun by eating in colors, I kept in mind foods that are good for gallstone health and/or aid the body as diuretics/laxatives. Also, I made sure that each day I'm eating at least 1,300 calories so my body has enough fuel to run on.
Without further ado:
THE GREAT GALLSTONE CLEANSE: DAY ONE: GREEN
- 16 fl oz of Naked Juice's "Green Machine" (contains apples, bananas, kiwis, mangos, pineapple, spirulina, chlorella, broccoli, spinach, blue-green algae, garlic, barley grass, wheat grass, ginger, & parsley) (280 Calories) Andreas Moritz suggests that the body only ingest lukewarm foods, so I let this sit out for a few hours. *Caution: don't let it spoil. We don't need bodily fluids coming out of both ends*
- Guacamole (1 Avocado, Lime Juice, a sprinkle of salt, a dash of garlic powder, and ground parsley) (250 Calories) Avocados are delicious & help get the biliary colic started, aw yeah.
- Traditional Medicinals' "Every Day Detox" tea (promotes healthy liver function, contains dandelion and chicory root, and is naturally a bit sweet from anise) (5 Calories) Technically, not supposed to consume anything hot, but there's no way I'm not drinking tea. Sorry I'm not sorry.
- 16 fl oz of Naked Juice's "Green Machine" (280 Calories)
- Spinach & Granny Smith Apple Rabbit Food (1/2 cup of raw spinach is 5 Calories + 1/2 of an apple is 25 Calories + a teaspoon of olive oil is 40 Calories) It might be fun to toss in some sunflower seeds, or green grapes, or snow peas, or alfalfa/clover sprouts as well, I just don't have these things. Instead of spinach, you could also do kale, spring mix, or dandelion leaves.
- Homemade Cucumber Juice (2 cucumbers are roughly 45 Calories, and I added some mint leaves in for an extra 5 Calories) I used my juicer, but you could always blend them in a food processor with some water.
- Homemade Pear Juice (Pear + Water + Honey = 30 Calories) If you don't want to make pear juice you can either buy premade juice or eat some pears, but it's important that you get some in your diet. Pears contain pectin, which binds to cholesterol-filled gallstones and helps move them out of your body.
- Guacamole (250 Calories) (awww yeah... I could be raw for a long time if it meant guacamole every day!!) This time I scooped my guacamole with some Sushi Nori (3 pieces= 30 Calories) DROOOOOOOL...
- "Every Day Detox" Tea (5 Calories)
- 1/2 Granny Smith Apple (25 calories)
- Roughly 1,275